Full Circle

     Back in Hong Kong folks. We are heading for SF in a few hours and it's almost surreal. I'm not quite prepared for an end-of-the-journey post, so I'll save it for later. 

     We left for Singapore and upon arrival had a crab feast with R, M, and R's dad (thanks again papa R!). It was a LOVELY last night in Asia and arguably the greatest meal of the trip. We washed up at R's place and shared a few drinks before catching a few hours of sleep between our next flight. 

   Hong Kong was all about stuffing our face a diner and then resting...lots of resting. We are super thankful for our original host here, R, for taking us in for the day. 

   I'll get back to posting once we've reached Tahoe. 

-M

     Back in Hong Kong folks. We are heading for SF in a few hours and it's almost surreal. I'm not quite prepared for an end-of-the-journey post, so I'll save it for later. 

     We left for Singapore and upon arrival had a crab feast with R, M, and R's dad (thanks again papa R!). It was a LOVELY last night in Asia and arguably the greatest meal of the trip. We washed up at R's place and shared a few drinks before catching a few hours of sleep between our next flight. 

   Hong Kong was all about stuffing our face a diner and then resting...lots of resting. We are super thankful for our original host here, R, for taking us in for the day. 

   I'll get back to posting once we've reached Tahoe. 

-M

     Back in Hong Kong folks. We are heading for SF in a few hours and it's almost surreal. I'm not quite prepared for an end-of-the-journey post, so I'll save it for later. 

     We left for Singapore and upon arrival had a crab feast with R, M, and R's dad (thanks again papa R!). It was a LOVELY last night in Asia and arguably the greatest meal of the trip. We washed up at R's place and shared a few drinks before catching a few hours of sleep between our next flight. 

   Hong Kong was all about stuffing our face a diner and then resting...lots of resting. We are super thankful for our original host here, R, for taking us in for the day. 

   I'll get back to posting once we've reached Tahoe. 

-M

     Back in Hong Kong folks. We are heading for SF in a few hours and it's almost surreal. I'm not quite prepared for an end-of-the-journey post, so I'll save it for later. 

     We left for Singapore and upon arrival had a crab feast with R, M, and R's dad (thanks again papa R!). It was a LOVELY last night in Asia and arguably the greatest meal of the trip. We washed up at R's place and shared a few drinks before catching a few hours of sleep between our next flight. 

   Hong Kong was all about stuffing our face a diner and then resting...lots of resting. We are super thankful for our original host here, R, for taking us in for the day. 

   I'll get back to posting once we've reached Tahoe. 

-M

Don't underestimate the things that I might do

     Goodbyes, for lack of a better word, suck. They don't just suck, but I am epically horrible at them. I am not only incapable of doing a goodbye justice, but I feel as if I am in limbo. In limbo to say hello again. Not simply to the people I am leaving behind (365 days...more or less), but to the people I have left behind (enam hari hari...er I don't understand this time change thing, so more or less).

     No one said the life of a vagrant was easy (it's not). I may never get it right. I've had to say too many goodbyes in the past 48 hours and not enough hellos. The hellos I have been able to say always end with a 'Goodbye, I'm sorry we didn't have more time, if you are ever in the US please let me know.' I can say I will be back in a year all day long, but no one will believe me until that (as of now) unaffordable ticket is booked again.

     Arriving at home has begun to settle in. I miss my home...terribly. Leaving my home away from home is being slapped across my face. There are some people I almost refuse to say 'bye' to; because it is just too freakin' hard. I wish I had something more profound, or even more positive to say, but I don't. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. C'est la vie et c'est ma vie.

     Of course, if I could do it all over again I would, every G-damned minute. But fuck, I will miss you guys, and 'fouk' I miss you guys.

-M

     Goodbyes, for lack of a better word, suck. They don't just suck, but I am epically horrible at them. I am not only incapable of doing a goodbye justice, but I feel as if I am in limbo. In limbo to say hello again. Not simply to the people I am leaving behind (365 days...more or less), but to the people I have left behind (enam hari hari...er I don't understand this time change thing, so more or less).

     No one said the life of a vagrant was easy (it's not). I may never get it right. I've had to say too many goodbyes in the past 48 hours and not enough hellos. The hellos I have been able to say always end with a 'Goodbye, I'm sorry we didn't have more time, if you are ever in the US please let me know.' I can say I will be back in a year all day long, but no one will believe me until that (as of now) unaffordable ticket is booked again.

     Arriving at home has begun to settle in. I miss my home...terribly. Leaving my home away from home is being slapped across my face. There are some people I almost refuse to say 'bye' to; because it is just too freakin' hard. I wish I had something more profound, or even more positive to say, but I don't. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. C'est la vie et c'est ma vie.

     Of course, if I could do it all over again I would, every G-damned minute. But fuck, I will miss you guys, and 'fouk' I miss you guys.

-M

     Goodbyes, for lack of a better word, suck. They don't just suck, but I am epically horrible at them. I am not only incapable of doing a goodbye justice, but I feel as if I am in limbo. In limbo to say hello again. Not simply to the people I am leaving behind (365 days...more or less), but to the people I have left behind (enam hari hari...er I don't understand this time change thing, so more or less).

     No one said the life of a vagrant was easy (it's not). I may never get it right. I've had to say too many goodbyes in the past 48 hours and not enough hellos. The hellos I have been able to say always end with a 'Goodbye, I'm sorry we didn't have more time, if you are ever in the US please let me know.' I can say I will be back in a year all day long, but no one will believe me until that (as of now) unaffordable ticket is booked again.

     Arriving at home has begun to settle in. I miss my home...terribly. Leaving my home away from home is being slapped across my face. There are some people I almost refuse to say 'bye' to; because it is just too freakin' hard. I wish I had something more profound, or even more positive to say, but I don't. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. C'est la vie et c'est ma vie.

     Of course, if I could do it all over again I would, every G-damned minute. But fuck, I will miss you guys, and 'fouk' I miss you guys.

-M

     Goodbyes, for lack of a better word, suck. They don't just suck, but I am epically horrible at them. I am not only incapable of doing a goodbye justice, but I feel as if I am in limbo. In limbo to say hello again. Not simply to the people I am leaving behind (365 days...more or less), but to the people I have left behind (enam hari hari...er I don't understand this time change thing, so more or less).

     No one said the life of a vagrant was easy (it's not). I may never get it right. I've had to say too many goodbyes in the past 48 hours and not enough hellos. The hellos I have been able to say always end with a 'Goodbye, I'm sorry we didn't have more time, if you are ever in the US please let me know.' I can say I will be back in a year all day long, but no one will believe me until that (as of now) unaffordable ticket is booked again.

     Arriving at home has begun to settle in. I miss my home...terribly. Leaving my home away from home is being slapped across my face. There are some people I almost refuse to say 'bye' to; because it is just too freakin' hard. I wish I had something more profound, or even more positive to say, but I don't. It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. C'est la vie et c'est ma vie.

     Of course, if I could do it all over again I would, every G-damned minute. But fuck, I will miss you guys, and 'fouk' I miss you guys.

-M

I guess I'll pack up my mind

     I would like to start off by apologizing for whatever I'm about to write here. Please blame it on the Nyquil induced haze I'm currently under. Sick with cold number two of the summer, which sucks, but isn't surprising because my immune system is about as durable as our shower head (read: handle with care). I finally mustered the strength to get off my ass and cook some food to ease the cold (and hungry tummy).

     As I sat there waiting for whatever lump of substance to come out of its frozen slumber in our handy toaster oven the call to prayer came on. Leaning over the railing out of the balcony staring at the large dome-ridden mosque down the street from us I thought about felt like when I first did this three months back. I remember feeling like I was in a place so foreign and that large copper-topped establishment that belched out songs five times a day was yet another reminder of just how far away I am from what I know. Although now I'm quite used to the songs (and what my flatmate and I lovingly refer to as 'the Malaysian top 20') I still get that sense of mystery. The skyline from my place, despite it's familiarity, still feels like a far off place. Maybe it's because I know that in a little over a week I'll, once again, be in a land that is far, far away from here.

     It's not easy to put into words how this place has changed me. Even if I tried, it would seem forced and inaccurate. I have things I want to say, things I can't say, and things I haven't figured out how to say.  There is a brown notebook that I've filled with notes, poems, not enough sketches, and frantic thoughts that pass through my mind en-route to destinations both near and far from here.

     The thought of leaving is a mixed bag for me. I feel like a thin rope bridge stretching across two continental plates. My toes flexed hard and the pads of my fingers just barely grasping the ends of each side. Below me, who knows or even cares really. It is going to be hard to say goodbye to the close friends I've made and a place I've learned to live in (although sometimes it feels like mere survival). On the other hand I really do miss Denver, I can't wait to be back in a certain someone's arms and I am excited to see the loved ones I've left behind.

     If you have had a real conversation with me this summer you know that I have some big decisions to make. The road ahead is unpaved and the route unclear. However, we all know I'll just let things work themselves out. If there is one thing I've learned on my brief stay in this world it's that both pain and happiness are equally as fleeting so enjoy all of it, because you can't have one without the other. Life is as simple as a series of trade-offs and just as complicated.

     The idea for the next week is to just enjoy it (assuming this damn cold eases up). I am going to try hard to see everyone, sleep very little, and think even less. School doesn't start for another two weeks. I can use my brain then.

-M

PS. There was a dead body in the river next to Masjid Jamek. Disturbing...

     I would like to start off by apologizing for whatever I'm about to write here. Please blame it on the Nyquil induced haze I'm currently under. Sick with cold number two of the summer, which sucks, but isn't surprising because my immune system is about as durable as our shower head (read: handle with care). I finally mustered the strength to get off my ass and cook some food to ease the cold (and hungry tummy).

     As I sat there waiting for whatever lump of substance to come out of its frozen slumber in our handy toaster oven the call to prayer came on. Leaning over the railing out of the balcony staring at the large dome-ridden mosque down the street from us I thought about felt like when I first did this three months back. I remember feeling like I was in a place so foreign and that large copper-topped establishment that belched out songs five times a day was yet another reminder of just how far away I am from what I know. Although now I'm quite used to the songs (and what my flatmate and I lovingly refer to as 'the Malaysian top 20') I still get that sense of mystery. The skyline from my place, despite it's familiarity, still feels like a far off place. Maybe it's because I know that in a little over a week I'll, once again, be in a land that is far, far away from here.

     It's not easy to put into words how this place has changed me. Even if I tried, it would seem forced and inaccurate. I have things I want to say, things I can't say, and things I haven't figured out how to say.  There is a brown notebook that I've filled with notes, poems, not enough sketches, and frantic thoughts that pass through my mind en-route to destinations both near and far from here.

     The thought of leaving is a mixed bag for me. I feel like a thin rope bridge stretching across two continental plates. My toes flexed hard and the pads of my fingers just barely grasping the ends of each side. Below me, who knows or even cares really. It is going to be hard to say goodbye to the close friends I've made and a place I've learned to live in (although sometimes it feels like mere survival). On the other hand I really do miss Denver, I can't wait to be back in a certain someone's arms and I am excited to see the loved ones I've left behind.

     If you have had a real conversation with me this summer you know that I have some big decisions to make. The road ahead is unpaved and the route unclear. However, we all know I'll just let things work themselves out. If there is one thing I've learned on my brief stay in this world it's that both pain and happiness are equally as fleeting so enjoy all of it, because you can't have one without the other. Life is as simple as a series of trade-offs and just as complicated.

     The idea for the next week is to just enjoy it (assuming this damn cold eases up). I am going to try hard to see everyone, sleep very little, and think even less. School doesn't start for another two weeks. I can use my brain then.

-M

PS. There was a dead body in the river next to Masjid Jamek. Disturbing...

     I would like to start off by apologizing for whatever I'm about to write here. Please blame it on the Nyquil induced haze I'm currently under. Sick with cold number two of the summer, which sucks, but isn't surprising because my immune system is about as durable as our shower head (read: handle with care). I finally mustered the strength to get off my ass and cook some food to ease the cold (and hungry tummy).

     As I sat there waiting for whatever lump of substance to come out of its frozen slumber in our handy toaster oven the call to prayer came on. Leaning over the railing out of the balcony staring at the large dome-ridden mosque down the street from us I thought about felt like when I first did this three months back. I remember feeling like I was in a place so foreign and that large copper-topped establishment that belched out songs five times a day was yet another reminder of just how far away I am from what I know. Although now I'm quite used to the songs (and what my flatmate and I lovingly refer to as 'the Malaysian top 20') I still get that sense of mystery. The skyline from my place, despite it's familiarity, still feels like a far off place. Maybe it's because I know that in a little over a week I'll, once again, be in a land that is far, far away from here.

     It's not easy to put into words how this place has changed me. Even if I tried, it would seem forced and inaccurate. I have things I want to say, things I can't say, and things I haven't figured out how to say.  There is a brown notebook that I've filled with notes, poems, not enough sketches, and frantic thoughts that pass through my mind en-route to destinations both near and far from here.

     The thought of leaving is a mixed bag for me. I feel like a thin rope bridge stretching across two continental plates. My toes flexed hard and the pads of my fingers just barely grasping the ends of each side. Below me, who knows or even cares really. It is going to be hard to say goodbye to the close friends I've made and a place I've learned to live in (although sometimes it feels like mere survival). On the other hand I really do miss Denver, I can't wait to be back in a certain someone's arms and I am excited to see the loved ones I've left behind.

     If you have had a real conversation with me this summer you know that I have some big decisions to make. The road ahead is unpaved and the route unclear. However, we all know I'll just let things work themselves out. If there is one thing I've learned on my brief stay in this world it's that both pain and happiness are equally as fleeting so enjoy all of it, because you can't have one without the other. Life is as simple as a series of trade-offs and just as complicated.

     The idea for the next week is to just enjoy it (assuming this damn cold eases up). I am going to try hard to see everyone, sleep very little, and think even less. School doesn't start for another two weeks. I can use my brain then.

-M

PS. There was a dead body in the river next to Masjid Jamek. Disturbing...

     I would like to start off by apologizing for whatever I'm about to write here. Please blame it on the Nyquil induced haze I'm currently under. Sick with cold number two of the summer, which sucks, but isn't surprising because my immune system is about as durable as our shower head (read: handle with care). I finally mustered the strength to get off my ass and cook some food to ease the cold (and hungry tummy).

     As I sat there waiting for whatever lump of substance to come out of its frozen slumber in our handy toaster oven the call to prayer came on. Leaning over the railing out of the balcony staring at the large dome-ridden mosque down the street from us I thought about felt like when I first did this three months back. I remember feeling like I was in a place so foreign and that large copper-topped establishment that belched out songs five times a day was yet another reminder of just how far away I am from what I know. Although now I'm quite used to the songs (and what my flatmate and I lovingly refer to as 'the Malaysian top 20') I still get that sense of mystery. The skyline from my place, despite it's familiarity, still feels like a far off place. Maybe it's because I know that in a little over a week I'll, once again, be in a land that is far, far away from here.

     It's not easy to put into words how this place has changed me. Even if I tried, it would seem forced and inaccurate. I have things I want to say, things I can't say, and things I haven't figured out how to say.  There is a brown notebook that I've filled with notes, poems, not enough sketches, and frantic thoughts that pass through my mind en-route to destinations both near and far from here.

     The thought of leaving is a mixed bag for me. I feel like a thin rope bridge stretching across two continental plates. My toes flexed hard and the pads of my fingers just barely grasping the ends of each side. Below me, who knows or even cares really. It is going to be hard to say goodbye to the close friends I've made and a place I've learned to live in (although sometimes it feels like mere survival). On the other hand I really do miss Denver, I can't wait to be back in a certain someone's arms and I am excited to see the loved ones I've left behind.

     If you have had a real conversation with me this summer you know that I have some big decisions to make. The road ahead is unpaved and the route unclear. However, we all know I'll just let things work themselves out. If there is one thing I've learned on my brief stay in this world it's that both pain and happiness are equally as fleeting so enjoy all of it, because you can't have one without the other. Life is as simple as a series of trade-offs and just as complicated.

     The idea for the next week is to just enjoy it (assuming this damn cold eases up). I am going to try hard to see everyone, sleep very little, and think even less. School doesn't start for another two weeks. I can use my brain then.

-M

PS. There was a dead body in the river next to Masjid Jamek. Disturbing...

Happy Birthday Brother B!!!

     Before I get started I'd like to just give a huge shout out to my brother, whom I frequently refer to as 'Broseph.' It's his big 2-1 today!!! It makes me feel pretty old, but I'm happy we can finally chill at bars together. Since I'm leaving the country today I decided to buy him tickets to the Great American Beer Festival in Denver this fall. I really owe him a killer gift and I figured it would be a great way to see him when I get home! So happy birthday to you B!!! Please don't forget to keep a shop-vac handy for your party (most people are not supposed to get this reference).

     So this morning was a total waterworks show. I was not ready for it, and I did not expect it. Don't get me wrong, I knew I would cry at some point, but not on and off all morning. I'm not one to cry a lot, but I'm leaving for quite some time. The ticket from Denver to Malaysia (although I was blessed with a freebie from my dad, thank you very much Dad) my boyfriend is not. Private law school, despite a significant scholarship, still costs lots and lots of money. It just isn't in the cards. I wasn't expecting him to visit, but that didn't stop me from telling him to just say screw it and come with me this morning. I felt a lot of guilt this morning. It is my fault we are apart for the summer. He obviously doesn't blame me, and it was odd because I never had those feelings before. However, I have to do what's best for my education. I would support him fully if he were making the same choice, just as he supports me. Plus, as a 20 something living in America these days, it's really the economy's fault anyway.

     It's really been a rough morning. I lost it when my dog jumped on the bed and wedged herself between us for one last snuggle. You could tell when we got to the airport (which was an enormous CF...they closed the main exit down to the airport...and we were stuck behind some of the WORST drivers I have ever seen in CO) that she was pretty upset. She knows when something big is about to happen, she gave me kisses to lick up all my salty tears. MB was freaking out because he thought I would miss my flight. Luckily the west coast is experiencing some weather delays, so I made it here with plenty of time to spare. Of course I cried at the airport and some a-hole police man on a bike (seriously, if someone were to really start trouble here, what is your lame little street bike going to do?) told us to 'wrap it up and move on,' I almost snapped at him, but then thought about how un-fun it is to be detained in airport jail. Or how un-fun it would be to explain to my parents why I missed my expensive flight across the ocean. I really am going to miss the BF. I don't think the internet is an appropriate forum to divulge about my personal relationships, plus I think it's annoying to rub it in other peoples' faces so I'll refrain from further comment.

     Today is turning out to be a little more rough emotionally than I expected. All of my excitement vanished last night and was replaced by sadness. I've never felt 'sad' to travel. Scared, anxious, nervous? Yes. Sad? No. I feel a lot better now that I'm at the airport. Airports are pretty funny places. They are depressing, exciting, annoying, and yet they comfort me. I've been to so many airports, traveled on countless planes. Although I think it's sad that you literally have to be cavity searched to get on a plane these days (although obviously I'd rather have that than some type of disaster...I've got nothing to hide), there is something about being in an airport that is finalizing. You are leaving. You are going home. You are stuck. You are on the go. There is an absolute quality about it. I find it calming. Most people find it stressful. My dad likes to freak out in airports. I take traveling especially multi-day commutes as a time where it is best to just roll with the punches and deal with it.

     I am not looking forward to LAX. Please excuse today's negativity, but it should come as no surprise. I will be sad, then anxious, then knocked out by Nyquil, then super freaked out for about 2 hours upon arrival, then at peace. Anyways, LAX is quite easily one of my least favorite places. It's what I would imagine some place like Lagos being like except with more concrete. Basically, one enormous CF. I've been there all hours of the day, always traffic. You walk outside and literally might get carbon monoxide poisoning. No one speaks English, which is always interesting because you are in America. You hear various Asian, Middle Eastern, Latin and South American, and the occasional European languages more frequently than you will hear your own. People drive like morons, act like morons, and baggage claim (esp the Southwest terminal) is like a root canal. Long, slow, and unorganized. Awesome. Fortunately there is an In-n-Out not too far away so I'll be stopping there for some grub and fresh(-er) air. The best part about today is the fact that I not only get to go through baggage claim, but I then get to come in for the late night shift and go through the international terminal. Last time I was smashed between a flight leaving for Guadalajara and my flight to Beijing. My Beijing flight was both cute and annoying, as there were about 50 school children on my flight. For whatever reason the fact that it was 1:45am did not seem to phase them. Although they looked so cute in their sweat pant uniforms and Mickey Mouse hats. It was quite a funny flight because I sat next to a lady from Costa Rica heading to China. She spoke no English and the Spanish I know is not particularly helpful for everyday conversation. I have decided to learn Spanish on my own next year. It's kind of like America's new second language. I'm one of the few west coast kids who doesn't know a significant amount.

     Exactly one year ago I was flying over the Pacific on my way back from Asia. The world felt extremely small to me that day. After deciding to abandon my trip 3 days prior I was magically back in America (read: Business class on Korean Air = best way to travel by plane...especially post hospital). I felt defeated on that day. I felt as if I had failed to accomplish what I left to accomplish. It took me a while to realize that I accomplished something more than what I set out to accomplish. As I set out again, I have things I want to accomplish, but I have more room to accept the things I wasn't planning on finding.

     I would like to end this post on a high note. When I say I blame myself or the economy I'm mainly talking about the fact that I chose to leave the country to find work because there is very little (read: none) here in the States. I realize this is my choice. I don't regret anything I do, because you will always learn something even if it turns out you had the worst idea ever. The journey and the people you take with you are what makes you who you are. I am excited overall to be going to Malaysia. I am eternally grateful for such a unique opportunity. However, when I decided to start this blog, I decided that it is just as important to share my other-than-happy thoughts. If I didn't it wouldn't be a complete story. The past few days have been about saying goodbye. 90% of the time (...every time...), goodbyes are not easy and goodbyes do not incite feelings of awesomeness. They are a simple reminder of your love for others and your own mortality. I will always have my friends and family in my heart (and the pictures on my wall) while I am away. I know that. I'm glad for this opportunity to grow.


     "The best journeys are the ones that answer questions that when you set out you never even thought to ask." - Anonymous

Cheers US of A!

-M

PS. I think this goes without saying, but I've gotta board and didn't have a chance to read through and correct any awkward sentences. My apologies.
  

     Before I get started I'd like to just give a huge shout out to my brother, whom I frequently refer to as 'Broseph.' It's his big 2-1 today!!! It makes me feel pretty old, but I'm happy we can finally chill at bars together. Since I'm leaving the country today I decided to buy him tickets to the Great American Beer Festival in Denver this fall. I really owe him a killer gift and I figured it would be a great way to see him when I get home! So happy birthday to you B!!! Please don't forget to keep a shop-vac handy for your party (most people are not supposed to get this reference).

     So this morning was a total waterworks show. I was not ready for it, and I did not expect it. Don't get me wrong, I knew I would cry at some point, but not on and off all morning. I'm not one to cry a lot, but I'm leaving for quite some time. The ticket from Denver to Malaysia (although I was blessed with a freebie from my dad, thank you very much Dad) my boyfriend is not. Private law school, despite a significant scholarship, still costs lots and lots of money. It just isn't in the cards. I wasn't expecting him to visit, but that didn't stop me from telling him to just say screw it and come with me this morning. I felt a lot of guilt this morning. It is my fault we are apart for the summer. He obviously doesn't blame me, and it was odd because I never had those feelings before. However, I have to do what's best for my education. I would support him fully if he were making the same choice, just as he supports me. Plus, as a 20 something living in America these days, it's really the economy's fault anyway.

     It's really been a rough morning. I lost it when my dog jumped on the bed and wedged herself between us for one last snuggle. You could tell when we got to the airport (which was an enormous CF...they closed the main exit down to the airport...and we were stuck behind some of the WORST drivers I have ever seen in CO) that she was pretty upset. She knows when something big is about to happen, she gave me kisses to lick up all my salty tears. MB was freaking out because he thought I would miss my flight. Luckily the west coast is experiencing some weather delays, so I made it here with plenty of time to spare. Of course I cried at the airport and some a-hole police man on a bike (seriously, if someone were to really start trouble here, what is your lame little street bike going to do?) told us to 'wrap it up and move on,' I almost snapped at him, but then thought about how un-fun it is to be detained in airport jail. Or how un-fun it would be to explain to my parents why I missed my expensive flight across the ocean. I really am going to miss the BF. I don't think the internet is an appropriate forum to divulge about my personal relationships, plus I think it's annoying to rub it in other peoples' faces so I'll refrain from further comment.

     Today is turning out to be a little more rough emotionally than I expected. All of my excitement vanished last night and was replaced by sadness. I've never felt 'sad' to travel. Scared, anxious, nervous? Yes. Sad? No. I feel a lot better now that I'm at the airport. Airports are pretty funny places. They are depressing, exciting, annoying, and yet they comfort me. I've been to so many airports, traveled on countless planes. Although I think it's sad that you literally have to be cavity searched to get on a plane these days (although obviously I'd rather have that than some type of disaster...I've got nothing to hide), there is something about being in an airport that is finalizing. You are leaving. You are going home. You are stuck. You are on the go. There is an absolute quality about it. I find it calming. Most people find it stressful. My dad likes to freak out in airports. I take traveling especially multi-day commutes as a time where it is best to just roll with the punches and deal with it.

     I am not looking forward to LAX. Please excuse today's negativity, but it should come as no surprise. I will be sad, then anxious, then knocked out by Nyquil, then super freaked out for about 2 hours upon arrival, then at peace. Anyways, LAX is quite easily one of my least favorite places. It's what I would imagine some place like Lagos being like except with more concrete. Basically, one enormous CF. I've been there all hours of the day, always traffic. You walk outside and literally might get carbon monoxide poisoning. No one speaks English, which is always interesting because you are in America. You hear various Asian, Middle Eastern, Latin and South American, and the occasional European languages more frequently than you will hear your own. People drive like morons, act like morons, and baggage claim (esp the Southwest terminal) is like a root canal. Long, slow, and unorganized. Awesome. Fortunately there is an In-n-Out not too far away so I'll be stopping there for some grub and fresh(-er) air. The best part about today is the fact that I not only get to go through baggage claim, but I then get to come in for the late night shift and go through the international terminal. Last time I was smashed between a flight leaving for Guadalajara and my flight to Beijing. My Beijing flight was both cute and annoying, as there were about 50 school children on my flight. For whatever reason the fact that it was 1:45am did not seem to phase them. Although they looked so cute in their sweat pant uniforms and Mickey Mouse hats. It was quite a funny flight because I sat next to a lady from Costa Rica heading to China. She spoke no English and the Spanish I know is not particularly helpful for everyday conversation. I have decided to learn Spanish on my own next year. It's kind of like America's new second language. I'm one of the few west coast kids who doesn't know a significant amount.

     Exactly one year ago I was flying over the Pacific on my way back from Asia. The world felt extremely small to me that day. After deciding to abandon my trip 3 days prior I was magically back in America (read: Business class on Korean Air = best way to travel by plane...especially post hospital). I felt defeated on that day. I felt as if I had failed to accomplish what I left to accomplish. It took me a while to realize that I accomplished something more than what I set out to accomplish. As I set out again, I have things I want to accomplish, but I have more room to accept the things I wasn't planning on finding.

     I would like to end this post on a high note. When I say I blame myself or the economy I'm mainly talking about the fact that I chose to leave the country to find work because there is very little (read: none) here in the States. I realize this is my choice. I don't regret anything I do, because you will always learn something even if it turns out you had the worst idea ever. The journey and the people you take with you are what makes you who you are. I am excited overall to be going to Malaysia. I am eternally grateful for such a unique opportunity. However, when I decided to start this blog, I decided that it is just as important to share my other-than-happy thoughts. If I didn't it wouldn't be a complete story. The past few days have been about saying goodbye. 90% of the time (...every time...), goodbyes are not easy and goodbyes do not incite feelings of awesomeness. They are a simple reminder of your love for others and your own mortality. I will always have my friends and family in my heart (and the pictures on my wall) while I am away. I know that. I'm glad for this opportunity to grow.


     "The best journeys are the ones that answer questions that when you set out you never even thought to ask." - Anonymous

Cheers US of A!

-M

PS. I think this goes without saying, but I've gotta board and didn't have a chance to read through and correct any awkward sentences. My apologies.
  

     Before I get started I'd like to just give a huge shout out to my brother, whom I frequently refer to as 'Broseph.' It's his big 2-1 today!!! It makes me feel pretty old, but I'm happy we can finally chill at bars together. Since I'm leaving the country today I decided to buy him tickets to the Great American Beer Festival in Denver this fall. I really owe him a killer gift and I figured it would be a great way to see him when I get home! So happy birthday to you B!!! Please don't forget to keep a shop-vac handy for your party (most people are not supposed to get this reference).

     So this morning was a total waterworks show. I was not ready for it, and I did not expect it. Don't get me wrong, I knew I would cry at some point, but not on and off all morning. I'm not one to cry a lot, but I'm leaving for quite some time. The ticket from Denver to Malaysia (although I was blessed with a freebie from my dad, thank you very much Dad) my boyfriend is not. Private law school, despite a significant scholarship, still costs lots and lots of money. It just isn't in the cards. I wasn't expecting him to visit, but that didn't stop me from telling him to just say screw it and come with me this morning. I felt a lot of guilt this morning. It is my fault we are apart for the summer. He obviously doesn't blame me, and it was odd because I never had those feelings before. However, I have to do what's best for my education. I would support him fully if he were making the same choice, just as he supports me. Plus, as a 20 something living in America these days, it's really the economy's fault anyway.

     It's really been a rough morning. I lost it when my dog jumped on the bed and wedged herself between us for one last snuggle. You could tell when we got to the airport (which was an enormous CF...they closed the main exit down to the airport...and we were stuck behind some of the WORST drivers I have ever seen in CO) that she was pretty upset. She knows when something big is about to happen, she gave me kisses to lick up all my salty tears. MB was freaking out because he thought I would miss my flight. Luckily the west coast is experiencing some weather delays, so I made it here with plenty of time to spare. Of course I cried at the airport and some a-hole police man on a bike (seriously, if someone were to really start trouble here, what is your lame little street bike going to do?) told us to 'wrap it up and move on,' I almost snapped at him, but then thought about how un-fun it is to be detained in airport jail. Or how un-fun it would be to explain to my parents why I missed my expensive flight across the ocean. I really am going to miss the BF. I don't think the internet is an appropriate forum to divulge about my personal relationships, plus I think it's annoying to rub it in other peoples' faces so I'll refrain from further comment.

     Today is turning out to be a little more rough emotionally than I expected. All of my excitement vanished last night and was replaced by sadness. I've never felt 'sad' to travel. Scared, anxious, nervous? Yes. Sad? No. I feel a lot better now that I'm at the airport. Airports are pretty funny places. They are depressing, exciting, annoying, and yet they comfort me. I've been to so many airports, traveled on countless planes. Although I think it's sad that you literally have to be cavity searched to get on a plane these days (although obviously I'd rather have that than some type of disaster...I've got nothing to hide), there is something about being in an airport that is finalizing. You are leaving. You are going home. You are stuck. You are on the go. There is an absolute quality about it. I find it calming. Most people find it stressful. My dad likes to freak out in airports. I take traveling especially multi-day commutes as a time where it is best to just roll with the punches and deal with it.

     I am not looking forward to LAX. Please excuse today's negativity, but it should come as no surprise. I will be sad, then anxious, then knocked out by Nyquil, then super freaked out for about 2 hours upon arrival, then at peace. Anyways, LAX is quite easily one of my least favorite places. It's what I would imagine some place like Lagos being like except with more concrete. Basically, one enormous CF. I've been there all hours of the day, always traffic. You walk outside and literally might get carbon monoxide poisoning. No one speaks English, which is always interesting because you are in America. You hear various Asian, Middle Eastern, Latin and South American, and the occasional European languages more frequently than you will hear your own. People drive like morons, act like morons, and baggage claim (esp the Southwest terminal) is like a root canal. Long, slow, and unorganized. Awesome. Fortunately there is an In-n-Out not too far away so I'll be stopping there for some grub and fresh(-er) air. The best part about today is the fact that I not only get to go through baggage claim, but I then get to come in for the late night shift and go through the international terminal. Last time I was smashed between a flight leaving for Guadalajara and my flight to Beijing. My Beijing flight was both cute and annoying, as there were about 50 school children on my flight. For whatever reason the fact that it was 1:45am did not seem to phase them. Although they looked so cute in their sweat pant uniforms and Mickey Mouse hats. It was quite a funny flight because I sat next to a lady from Costa Rica heading to China. She spoke no English and the Spanish I know is not particularly helpful for everyday conversation. I have decided to learn Spanish on my own next year. It's kind of like America's new second language. I'm one of the few west coast kids who doesn't know a significant amount.

     Exactly one year ago I was flying over the Pacific on my way back from Asia. The world felt extremely small to me that day. After deciding to abandon my trip 3 days prior I was magically back in America (read: Business class on Korean Air = best way to travel by plane...especially post hospital). I felt defeated on that day. I felt as if I had failed to accomplish what I left to accomplish. It took me a while to realize that I accomplished something more than what I set out to accomplish. As I set out again, I have things I want to accomplish, but I have more room to accept the things I wasn't planning on finding.

     I would like to end this post on a high note. When I say I blame myself or the economy I'm mainly talking about the fact that I chose to leave the country to find work because there is very little (read: none) here in the States. I realize this is my choice. I don't regret anything I do, because you will always learn something even if it turns out you had the worst idea ever. The journey and the people you take with you are what makes you who you are. I am excited overall to be going to Malaysia. I am eternally grateful for such a unique opportunity. However, when I decided to start this blog, I decided that it is just as important to share my other-than-happy thoughts. If I didn't it wouldn't be a complete story. The past few days have been about saying goodbye. 90% of the time (...every time...), goodbyes are not easy and goodbyes do not incite feelings of awesomeness. They are a simple reminder of your love for others and your own mortality. I will always have my friends and family in my heart (and the pictures on my wall) while I am away. I know that. I'm glad for this opportunity to grow.


     "The best journeys are the ones that answer questions that when you set out you never even thought to ask." - Anonymous

Cheers US of A!

-M

PS. I think this goes without saying, but I've gotta board and didn't have a chance to read through and correct any awkward sentences. My apologies.
  

     Before I get started I'd like to just give a huge shout out to my brother, whom I frequently refer to as 'Broseph.' It's his big 2-1 today!!! It makes me feel pretty old, but I'm happy we can finally chill at bars together. Since I'm leaving the country today I decided to buy him tickets to the Great American Beer Festival in Denver this fall. I really owe him a killer gift and I figured it would be a great way to see him when I get home! So happy birthday to you B!!! Please don't forget to keep a shop-vac handy for your party (most people are not supposed to get this reference).

     So this morning was a total waterworks show. I was not ready for it, and I did not expect it. Don't get me wrong, I knew I would cry at some point, but not on and off all morning. I'm not one to cry a lot, but I'm leaving for quite some time. The ticket from Denver to Malaysia (although I was blessed with a freebie from my dad, thank you very much Dad) my boyfriend is not. Private law school, despite a significant scholarship, still costs lots and lots of money. It just isn't in the cards. I wasn't expecting him to visit, but that didn't stop me from telling him to just say screw it and come with me this morning. I felt a lot of guilt this morning. It is my fault we are apart for the summer. He obviously doesn't blame me, and it was odd because I never had those feelings before. However, I have to do what's best for my education. I would support him fully if he were making the same choice, just as he supports me. Plus, as a 20 something living in America these days, it's really the economy's fault anyway.

     It's really been a rough morning. I lost it when my dog jumped on the bed and wedged herself between us for one last snuggle. You could tell when we got to the airport (which was an enormous CF...they closed the main exit down to the airport...and we were stuck behind some of the WORST drivers I have ever seen in CO) that she was pretty upset. She knows when something big is about to happen, she gave me kisses to lick up all my salty tears. MB was freaking out because he thought I would miss my flight. Luckily the west coast is experiencing some weather delays, so I made it here with plenty of time to spare. Of course I cried at the airport and some a-hole police man on a bike (seriously, if someone were to really start trouble here, what is your lame little street bike going to do?) told us to 'wrap it up and move on,' I almost snapped at him, but then thought about how un-fun it is to be detained in airport jail. Or how un-fun it would be to explain to my parents why I missed my expensive flight across the ocean. I really am going to miss the BF. I don't think the internet is an appropriate forum to divulge about my personal relationships, plus I think it's annoying to rub it in other peoples' faces so I'll refrain from further comment.

     Today is turning out to be a little more rough emotionally than I expected. All of my excitement vanished last night and was replaced by sadness. I've never felt 'sad' to travel. Scared, anxious, nervous? Yes. Sad? No. I feel a lot better now that I'm at the airport. Airports are pretty funny places. They are depressing, exciting, annoying, and yet they comfort me. I've been to so many airports, traveled on countless planes. Although I think it's sad that you literally have to be cavity searched to get on a plane these days (although obviously I'd rather have that than some type of disaster...I've got nothing to hide), there is something about being in an airport that is finalizing. You are leaving. You are going home. You are stuck. You are on the go. There is an absolute quality about it. I find it calming. Most people find it stressful. My dad likes to freak out in airports. I take traveling especially multi-day commutes as a time where it is best to just roll with the punches and deal with it.

     I am not looking forward to LAX. Please excuse today's negativity, but it should come as no surprise. I will be sad, then anxious, then knocked out by Nyquil, then super freaked out for about 2 hours upon arrival, then at peace. Anyways, LAX is quite easily one of my least favorite places. It's what I would imagine some place like Lagos being like except with more concrete. Basically, one enormous CF. I've been there all hours of the day, always traffic. You walk outside and literally might get carbon monoxide poisoning. No one speaks English, which is always interesting because you are in America. You hear various Asian, Middle Eastern, Latin and South American, and the occasional European languages more frequently than you will hear your own. People drive like morons, act like morons, and baggage claim (esp the Southwest terminal) is like a root canal. Long, slow, and unorganized. Awesome. Fortunately there is an In-n-Out not too far away so I'll be stopping there for some grub and fresh(-er) air. The best part about today is the fact that I not only get to go through baggage claim, but I then get to come in for the late night shift and go through the international terminal. Last time I was smashed between a flight leaving for Guadalajara and my flight to Beijing. My Beijing flight was both cute and annoying, as there were about 50 school children on my flight. For whatever reason the fact that it was 1:45am did not seem to phase them. Although they looked so cute in their sweat pant uniforms and Mickey Mouse hats. It was quite a funny flight because I sat next to a lady from Costa Rica heading to China. She spoke no English and the Spanish I know is not particularly helpful for everyday conversation. I have decided to learn Spanish on my own next year. It's kind of like America's new second language. I'm one of the few west coast kids who doesn't know a significant amount.

     Exactly one year ago I was flying over the Pacific on my way back from Asia. The world felt extremely small to me that day. After deciding to abandon my trip 3 days prior I was magically back in America (read: Business class on Korean Air = best way to travel by plane...especially post hospital). I felt defeated on that day. I felt as if I had failed to accomplish what I left to accomplish. It took me a while to realize that I accomplished something more than what I set out to accomplish. As I set out again, I have things I want to accomplish, but I have more room to accept the things I wasn't planning on finding.

     I would like to end this post on a high note. When I say I blame myself or the economy I'm mainly talking about the fact that I chose to leave the country to find work because there is very little (read: none) here in the States. I realize this is my choice. I don't regret anything I do, because you will always learn something even if it turns out you had the worst idea ever. The journey and the people you take with you are what makes you who you are. I am excited overall to be going to Malaysia. I am eternally grateful for such a unique opportunity. However, when I decided to start this blog, I decided that it is just as important to share my other-than-happy thoughts. If I didn't it wouldn't be a complete story. The past few days have been about saying goodbye. 90% of the time (...every time...), goodbyes are not easy and goodbyes do not incite feelings of awesomeness. They are a simple reminder of your love for others and your own mortality. I will always have my friends and family in my heart (and the pictures on my wall) while I am away. I know that. I'm glad for this opportunity to grow.


     "The best journeys are the ones that answer questions that when you set out you never even thought to ask." - Anonymous

Cheers US of A!

-M

PS. I think this goes without saying, but I've gotta board and didn't have a chance to read through and correct any awkward sentences. My apologies.
  

I can never think of what to name these posts...

     There are a few things in life that I do love avoiding to do until the last possible minute and that's packing and laundry. Maybe it's because I have been in charge of doing both of those things since I was relatively young.

     I have done almost everything (except for checking into my flight, which I can't do until tomorrow) in order to avoid the actual packing. I did a super-cleaning of the apartment (sort of as a nice thing to do for the boyfriend, b/c we are both students and this trip is costing him the financial benefits of a roommate...no one wants to live in our windowless spare room). I mean, I cleaned every nook and cranny of this place, not to mention Nina is shedding at a fantastic rate, so it was extra dirty. If that doesn't tell you how much I dislike packing, I even went to the extreme to put things that I needed that were out in a pile, to be dealt with later. In essence, I created even more work for myself that is how much I dislike packing.

     I can't emphasize enough just how nice it is to actually have the time to do things such as clean out the apartment. I've realized that after 19 straight years of school, I'm really tired. My undergraduate days nursed that 'work hard play hard' mentality that I love about being a Colgate graduate. Graduate school is more like 'work harder what's play?' It's exhausting. As it should be, if it was easy, everyone would do it. Don't get me wrong I love it, as corny as it may sound I have a passion for learning. However, I feel as if I haven't had the chance to apply anything to the real world. I feel a bit in limbo in graduate school and I'm well aware that the working world is not school. Professional schools tend to slap you in the face with this, but what good does it do if you don't know what they're talking about? My last office job was at an indie record label in Los Angeles. Hardly your typical office, not to mention I was in high school and knew nothing about the world. Needless to say, I am excited for this opportunity to go work at a firm in another part of the world.

     I'm also surprisingly not worried or stressed out about anything. This most likely stems from my last trip to Asia. Yes, I am going to a completely different part of Asia, but I know there is no sense in worrying about time or days or when things should happen, because my sense of time is about to be completely rocked ( the lose a day thing is still a mystery to me). I'm entering a culture completely different than my own, the best way to deal with this is to relax, listen, and go with the flow. I'm not stressed about the loads of things I need to get done before I because it honestly beats what was previously occupying my time, LEED. Passing that exam felt like a heavy concrete wall was lifted from both my back and head (not to mention I can get back to studying Malaysian).

     Just realized that most of the paragraphs of this post start with the word 'I,' that trend needed to end. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous or even afraid. I'm leaving the boyfriend for the first time since I lived in Denmark. We spent a month apart when I graduated and moved here, but we've been living together for almost 2 years now. It will be an adjustment. I can't deny the fact that my stomach concerns me (you also can't blame me either, the last time I left the country I found myself in an ICU because of extreme dehydration). I've been pounding pro-biotic juice like it's crack. Obviously there are other nerves as well. However, I want to do this, come what may. As I always say (and now actually believe) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and as my dad always told me 'being nervous means you're ready.' So I'm at peace with my nerves, if you know what I mean.

    So my last few days in the states will be with friends and family. I invited a small group of people over for 'make your own pizza night.' The boyfriend has a final the day I leave so it's just a few close friends with pizza and beer. It really doesn't get much more American than that - except if you were BBQing burgers and watching the SuperBowl - or NASCAR if that's what you're into (although I only know one person who actually watches NASCAR - my brother, go figure). So I guess the only thing that makes this even 'American' is the beer thing, I mean the pizza won't even be coming out of a box...so I completely take that back. It's also the last chance I'll get to see a couple of my friends before they too move over the summer. Should be a good night.

    Tomorrow I'll be packing and spending time with MB. I leave Colorado on Wednesday at noon. I'll be in LA with my parents on the 18th (getting my In-n-Out on). Then it's across the Pacific at 12am on Thursday. Lastly, something magical happens and I arrive in KL at 12:15. The plan is to get my things and take the train to KL Sentral where someone will be picking me up and taking me to my host's place for a week. I'll start work in a week.

-M

     There are a few things in life that I do love avoiding to do until the last possible minute and that's packing and laundry. Maybe it's because I have been in charge of doing both of those things since I was relatively young.

     I have done almost everything (except for checking into my flight, which I can't do until tomorrow) in order to avoid the actual packing. I did a super-cleaning of the apartment (sort of as a nice thing to do for the boyfriend, b/c we are both students and this trip is costing him the financial benefits of a roommate...no one wants to live in our windowless spare room). I mean, I cleaned every nook and cranny of this place, not to mention Nina is shedding at a fantastic rate, so it was extra dirty. If that doesn't tell you how much I dislike packing, I even went to the extreme to put things that I needed that were out in a pile, to be dealt with later. In essence, I created even more work for myself that is how much I dislike packing.

     I can't emphasize enough just how nice it is to actually have the time to do things such as clean out the apartment. I've realized that after 19 straight years of school, I'm really tired. My undergraduate days nursed that 'work hard play hard' mentality that I love about being a Colgate graduate. Graduate school is more like 'work harder what's play?' It's exhausting. As it should be, if it was easy, everyone would do it. Don't get me wrong I love it, as corny as it may sound I have a passion for learning. However, I feel as if I haven't had the chance to apply anything to the real world. I feel a bit in limbo in graduate school and I'm well aware that the working world is not school. Professional schools tend to slap you in the face with this, but what good does it do if you don't know what they're talking about? My last office job was at an indie record label in Los Angeles. Hardly your typical office, not to mention I was in high school and knew nothing about the world. Needless to say, I am excited for this opportunity to go work at a firm in another part of the world.

     I'm also surprisingly not worried or stressed out about anything. This most likely stems from my last trip to Asia. Yes, I am going to a completely different part of Asia, but I know there is no sense in worrying about time or days or when things should happen, because my sense of time is about to be completely rocked ( the lose a day thing is still a mystery to me). I'm entering a culture completely different than my own, the best way to deal with this is to relax, listen, and go with the flow. I'm not stressed about the loads of things I need to get done before I because it honestly beats what was previously occupying my time, LEED. Passing that exam felt like a heavy concrete wall was lifted from both my back and head (not to mention I can get back to studying Malaysian).

     Just realized that most of the paragraphs of this post start with the word 'I,' that trend needed to end. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous or even afraid. I'm leaving the boyfriend for the first time since I lived in Denmark. We spent a month apart when I graduated and moved here, but we've been living together for almost 2 years now. It will be an adjustment. I can't deny the fact that my stomach concerns me (you also can't blame me either, the last time I left the country I found myself in an ICU because of extreme dehydration). I've been pounding pro-biotic juice like it's crack. Obviously there are other nerves as well. However, I want to do this, come what may. As I always say (and now actually believe) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and as my dad always told me 'being nervous means you're ready.' So I'm at peace with my nerves, if you know what I mean.

    So my last few days in the states will be with friends and family. I invited a small group of people over for 'make your own pizza night.' The boyfriend has a final the day I leave so it's just a few close friends with pizza and beer. It really doesn't get much more American than that - except if you were BBQing burgers and watching the SuperBowl - or NASCAR if that's what you're into (although I only know one person who actually watches NASCAR - my brother, go figure). So I guess the only thing that makes this even 'American' is the beer thing, I mean the pizza won't even be coming out of a box...so I completely take that back. It's also the last chance I'll get to see a couple of my friends before they too move over the summer. Should be a good night.

    Tomorrow I'll be packing and spending time with MB. I leave Colorado on Wednesday at noon. I'll be in LA with my parents on the 18th (getting my In-n-Out on). Then it's across the Pacific at 12am on Thursday. Lastly, something magical happens and I arrive in KL at 12:15. The plan is to get my things and take the train to KL Sentral where someone will be picking me up and taking me to my host's place for a week. I'll start work in a week.

-M

     There are a few things in life that I do love avoiding to do until the last possible minute and that's packing and laundry. Maybe it's because I have been in charge of doing both of those things since I was relatively young.

     I have done almost everything (except for checking into my flight, which I can't do until tomorrow) in order to avoid the actual packing. I did a super-cleaning of the apartment (sort of as a nice thing to do for the boyfriend, b/c we are both students and this trip is costing him the financial benefits of a roommate...no one wants to live in our windowless spare room). I mean, I cleaned every nook and cranny of this place, not to mention Nina is shedding at a fantastic rate, so it was extra dirty. If that doesn't tell you how much I dislike packing, I even went to the extreme to put things that I needed that were out in a pile, to be dealt with later. In essence, I created even more work for myself that is how much I dislike packing.

     I can't emphasize enough just how nice it is to actually have the time to do things such as clean out the apartment. I've realized that after 19 straight years of school, I'm really tired. My undergraduate days nursed that 'work hard play hard' mentality that I love about being a Colgate graduate. Graduate school is more like 'work harder what's play?' It's exhausting. As it should be, if it was easy, everyone would do it. Don't get me wrong I love it, as corny as it may sound I have a passion for learning. However, I feel as if I haven't had the chance to apply anything to the real world. I feel a bit in limbo in graduate school and I'm well aware that the working world is not school. Professional schools tend to slap you in the face with this, but what good does it do if you don't know what they're talking about? My last office job was at an indie record label in Los Angeles. Hardly your typical office, not to mention I was in high school and knew nothing about the world. Needless to say, I am excited for this opportunity to go work at a firm in another part of the world.

     I'm also surprisingly not worried or stressed out about anything. This most likely stems from my last trip to Asia. Yes, I am going to a completely different part of Asia, but I know there is no sense in worrying about time or days or when things should happen, because my sense of time is about to be completely rocked ( the lose a day thing is still a mystery to me). I'm entering a culture completely different than my own, the best way to deal with this is to relax, listen, and go with the flow. I'm not stressed about the loads of things I need to get done before I because it honestly beats what was previously occupying my time, LEED. Passing that exam felt like a heavy concrete wall was lifted from both my back and head (not to mention I can get back to studying Malaysian).

     Just realized that most of the paragraphs of this post start with the word 'I,' that trend needed to end. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous or even afraid. I'm leaving the boyfriend for the first time since I lived in Denmark. We spent a month apart when I graduated and moved here, but we've been living together for almost 2 years now. It will be an adjustment. I can't deny the fact that my stomach concerns me (you also can't blame me either, the last time I left the country I found myself in an ICU because of extreme dehydration). I've been pounding pro-biotic juice like it's crack. Obviously there are other nerves as well. However, I want to do this, come what may. As I always say (and now actually believe) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and as my dad always told me 'being nervous means you're ready.' So I'm at peace with my nerves, if you know what I mean.

    So my last few days in the states will be with friends and family. I invited a small group of people over for 'make your own pizza night.' The boyfriend has a final the day I leave so it's just a few close friends with pizza and beer. It really doesn't get much more American than that - except if you were BBQing burgers and watching the SuperBowl - or NASCAR if that's what you're into (although I only know one person who actually watches NASCAR - my brother, go figure). So I guess the only thing that makes this even 'American' is the beer thing, I mean the pizza won't even be coming out of a box...so I completely take that back. It's also the last chance I'll get to see a couple of my friends before they too move over the summer. Should be a good night.

    Tomorrow I'll be packing and spending time with MB. I leave Colorado on Wednesday at noon. I'll be in LA with my parents on the 18th (getting my In-n-Out on). Then it's across the Pacific at 12am on Thursday. Lastly, something magical happens and I arrive in KL at 12:15. The plan is to get my things and take the train to KL Sentral where someone will be picking me up and taking me to my host's place for a week. I'll start work in a week.

-M

     There are a few things in life that I do love avoiding to do until the last possible minute and that's packing and laundry. Maybe it's because I have been in charge of doing both of those things since I was relatively young.

     I have done almost everything (except for checking into my flight, which I can't do until tomorrow) in order to avoid the actual packing. I did a super-cleaning of the apartment (sort of as a nice thing to do for the boyfriend, b/c we are both students and this trip is costing him the financial benefits of a roommate...no one wants to live in our windowless spare room). I mean, I cleaned every nook and cranny of this place, not to mention Nina is shedding at a fantastic rate, so it was extra dirty. If that doesn't tell you how much I dislike packing, I even went to the extreme to put things that I needed that were out in a pile, to be dealt with later. In essence, I created even more work for myself that is how much I dislike packing.

     I can't emphasize enough just how nice it is to actually have the time to do things such as clean out the apartment. I've realized that after 19 straight years of school, I'm really tired. My undergraduate days nursed that 'work hard play hard' mentality that I love about being a Colgate graduate. Graduate school is more like 'work harder what's play?' It's exhausting. As it should be, if it was easy, everyone would do it. Don't get me wrong I love it, as corny as it may sound I have a passion for learning. However, I feel as if I haven't had the chance to apply anything to the real world. I feel a bit in limbo in graduate school and I'm well aware that the working world is not school. Professional schools tend to slap you in the face with this, but what good does it do if you don't know what they're talking about? My last office job was at an indie record label in Los Angeles. Hardly your typical office, not to mention I was in high school and knew nothing about the world. Needless to say, I am excited for this opportunity to go work at a firm in another part of the world.

     I'm also surprisingly not worried or stressed out about anything. This most likely stems from my last trip to Asia. Yes, I am going to a completely different part of Asia, but I know there is no sense in worrying about time or days or when things should happen, because my sense of time is about to be completely rocked ( the lose a day thing is still a mystery to me). I'm entering a culture completely different than my own, the best way to deal with this is to relax, listen, and go with the flow. I'm not stressed about the loads of things I need to get done before I because it honestly beats what was previously occupying my time, LEED. Passing that exam felt like a heavy concrete wall was lifted from both my back and head (not to mention I can get back to studying Malaysian).

     Just realized that most of the paragraphs of this post start with the word 'I,' that trend needed to end. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't nervous or even afraid. I'm leaving the boyfriend for the first time since I lived in Denmark. We spent a month apart when I graduated and moved here, but we've been living together for almost 2 years now. It will be an adjustment. I can't deny the fact that my stomach concerns me (you also can't blame me either, the last time I left the country I found myself in an ICU because of extreme dehydration). I've been pounding pro-biotic juice like it's crack. Obviously there are other nerves as well. However, I want to do this, come what may. As I always say (and now actually believe) what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and as my dad always told me 'being nervous means you're ready.' So I'm at peace with my nerves, if you know what I mean.

    So my last few days in the states will be with friends and family. I invited a small group of people over for 'make your own pizza night.' The boyfriend has a final the day I leave so it's just a few close friends with pizza and beer. It really doesn't get much more American than that - except if you were BBQing burgers and watching the SuperBowl - or NASCAR if that's what you're into (although I only know one person who actually watches NASCAR - my brother, go figure). So I guess the only thing that makes this even 'American' is the beer thing, I mean the pizza won't even be coming out of a box...so I completely take that back. It's also the last chance I'll get to see a couple of my friends before they too move over the summer. Should be a good night.

    Tomorrow I'll be packing and spending time with MB. I leave Colorado on Wednesday at noon. I'll be in LA with my parents on the 18th (getting my In-n-Out on). Then it's across the Pacific at 12am on Thursday. Lastly, something magical happens and I arrive in KL at 12:15. The plan is to get my things and take the train to KL Sentral where someone will be picking me up and taking me to my host's place for a week. I'll start work in a week.

-M